


Soundings

by aMUSEment345



Series: Soundings [8]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21665170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aMUSEment345/pseuds/aMUSEment345
Summary: A series of one shots set in the 'Soundings' universe.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Spencer Reid
Series: Soundings [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/518368
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. A Daddy for Christmas

_**A.N. Takes place after A Song Of Their Own** _

* * *

**A Daddy For Christmas**

CRASH!

JJ went flying toward the living room.

"Casey, I told you, watch out for the tree!" Henry was admonishing his pet as JJ stormed into the room to find the tree leaning against the wall and a slew of ornaments fallen to the floor.

JJ ran first to check on her infant daughter. Rosie was just six weeks old, and about to celebrate her first Christmas. _Without her dad._ The thought saddened JJ. But she didn't have time for self-pity now.

"Henry, I asked you to look after Rosie for just a minute, so I could put the laundry in. What happened?"

He looked chastened, but protested anyway. It was too close to Christmas to blow it with Santa now.

"I did, Mommy! I was making her laugh! But then Casey knocked over the tree! I'm sorry, Mommy." Turning to his pet, he directed, "Casey, say you're sorry."

JJ was overwhelmed, with both maternal guilt and maternal responsibility _._

 _I'm not being fair to Henry. But I can't do it all on my own! What a fool I was, to think it would be easy to take care of two_ _of them, just because I'd taken care of one. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to Spence going back to work so soon._

She was still on what would be a four month maternity leave. But Reid, entitled to longer, had returned to the BAU last week. Both of them had been in agreement about it. They didn't want to leave their team so short staffed for such a long period of time. But with him now involved with his first 'away' case, JJ questioned the wisdom of their decision.

Reassured that Rosie was still cooing in her infant seat, JJ turned to Henry.

"I'm sorry, buddy. It's all right, no major damage done. You did a great job watching Rosie. I should have put the gate up to keep Casey in the kitchen. Not your fault, little man."

JJ put the dog into the kitchen and righted the tree as she spoke.

Henry helped her pick up and replace the ornaments. When they were done, JJ knelt before the tree and hugged the little boy as he stood next to her.

"Thanks, Henry. I couldn't have done it without you." She held him away from her. "In fact, I don't think I could do _anything_ without you."

The tiny blond grinned back at her, gratified to have helped the mother he loved so much. But he was also missing his someone else….

"Mommy, when's Daddy getting home?"

JJ heaved a deep sigh. The case had taken the team to North Carolina, and then fallen into the worst kind of limbo. Enough information had been coming in to make the team think they were being helpful, but it was too little to solve the case and get them all home for Christmas. Her last text from Reid had been pessimistic.

'Not looking good. Still waiting on labs.'

The fact that it had been his seventeenth text of the day told her how disappointed he was.

"I don't know, honey. I know he'll get here as soon as he can."

"But what if he misses Christmas?!" Henry was getting revved up at the thought of it. "What if he's not here for Santa?!"

She gave him another hug. "Honey, you know your dad. You know how much he's looking forward to Christmas with you and Rosie."

"But Mommy, how can we have Christmas without him?"

Emotionally spent, JJ wondered the same thing.

* * *

"How's my Pumpkin?" Charles and Sandy had just arrived. JJ hugged her father. "I'm okay, Dad."

"Just okay?" Sandy picked up on both the wording and the tone of JJ's response.

"I'm fine, really, I am. It's just a little challenging getting things done with Spence away."

"Well. we're here now, Jennifer." Any outsider would have been able to see where JJ got her ability to work in the midst of chaos. Sandy continued, "I've got the kitchen. Charles, keep the kids amused. Jennifer, I want you to go and lie down right now."

"Mom, I'm…"

"Don't argue with me, Jennifer. Just go and rest." Her mother realized she couldn't really order her daughter around anymore, so she added, "Please."

JJ looked back and forth from one of her parents to the other. "Are you sure….?"

Her mother turned JJ around and gave her a push. "Go!"

* * *

She might have taken a nap, but JJ knew she'd gain more from working on her journal. She pulled it out and revisited the portion surrounding Rosie's birth. She'd written very little since then, unable to find a spare minute in her day. Taking advantage of the opportunity, she began.

' _Spence! I need you! What was I thinking, that I could do this on my own? Rosie still needs so much of my time, and with Henry home for the Christmas break, I don't have any time left for him. And before this, he was always the center of my world! How can I ask him to take a back seat? And how can I not? Spence, I need your wisdom on this.'_

Looking at what she'd written, JJ realized she risked the journal becoming a substitute for her husband.

They'd known this situation might arise. That one or both of them could be away from their children for a special event, or a holiday, or even an illness. And they were still struggling with whether they could both maintain their positions with the BAU as parents to two young children. The situation was too new, and the decision would have to be made at some yet to be determined date in the future. For now, they would take it one day at a time…or one crisis at a time.

JJ went back to her journal. ' _We had such a blissful time after Rosie was born. Spence was so happy! I've never seen anything like it. He couldn't take his eyes off her. I think he'd read every book and article about babies….he was so excited for everything she could do, and everything she might one day accomplish. As I think about it now, I don't think I've ever seen Spence so oriented toward the future. I guess during his childhood he had to live literally day by day. And ever since then, he's been an existentialist. But now he holds a kind of hope for the future…..for both Rosie and for Henry. He's stepped into the role of father with both feet, for both of them.'_

JJ looked up from her journal, and into the past. It was just over a year since that awful time when they'd lost Will, and nearly lost Reid. There seemed to be daily reminders of those days, and the feelings that had accompanied them. The sorrow, the grief, the gratitude, the relief, the virtual tempest of emotions they'd all lived through. Henry seemed to be handling them well, but was still trying to process what he could remember. JJ understood that he would keep doing that, with each new developmental level of maturity, trying to fathom the unfathomable. Taking it for granted that his Daddy Will was in heaven, Henry had begun to pray _to_ him, and not just _for_ him. It seemed to comfort him, the sense that he could still talk to his 'first father'.

Her exhaustion overtaking her, JJ fell into a light, dreamless sleep. When she awakened to Rosie's hungry cry, she could see that the early twilight was already upon them. 

_And no Spence. I guess you're not getting home for Christmas after all, are you?_

She grabbed her phone, looking for a text, but found none.

"Waahh!"

"I'm coming, Rosie." It was the task that only she could perform, and JJ relished it. Nursing her infant child was one of the most intimate experiences of a woman's life, and JJ was grateful for the opportunity to have it again, with Rosie.

Rosie's wails were coming from the kitchen, as was the delicious aroma of an apple pie in the oven. Sandy Jareau had taken over, and JJ was more than happy to let her do it.

"Mmmm, smells great, Mom. Here I am, Rosie. Are you hungry, sweetie?"

She lifted her daughter from the infant seat and settled both of them on a kitchen chair before putting Rosie to her breast.

Sandy watched from where she was stirring something on the stove, lost for a moment in a reverie of her own life. She'd nursed two daughters, often daydreaming about what their lives would be like, never even contemplating that one of those lives would be cut short. In a way that might only be known to a woman, she cherished both the hopes and the loss, feeling a connection with her child even in her heartbreak. She wondered what life would have in store for her remaining daughter, and the children she now nurtured.

"Mom?"

Sandy was startled back to alertness. Apparently JJ had been speaking to her.

"Mom, are you all right?"

"Just remembering when you were a baby, honey. It was a very sweet time in my life."

JJ knew just what her mother meant, but was usually too busy to savor it. She hoped she'd be able to do it in her memory, just as her mother was.

"So, you don't think Spencer will make it home?"

JJ shook her head sadly. "No, they're in a time crunch. There's some weather closing in on them, so if they don't get off the ground soon, they won't be able to fly out. And they're being held up by some results pending from the lab."

"Is that the storm that's supposed to hit us overnight?"

"Yep. We'll have a white Christmas, but without my husband. Henry's so disappointed."

"And you are, too."

JJ had to admit it. "But not as much as Spence is, I think. He's been texting me every half hour….although I haven't heard anything from him since you arrived."

Sandy was hopeful. "Maybe they're finishing up? Maybe they're on their way."

"They might be. But I checked on line. The weather's bad there already. As much as I want him here, I don't want them to risk flying in bad weather."

Henry entered the kitchen in time to hear JJ's final sentence. He didn't realize she was referring to the BAU team.

"Santa can't fly? But what about Rudolph? Can't he show them the way? What about his nose?"

The women restrained their laughs. "It's okay, Henry, Santa can fly in any kind of weather. No, I was talking about your dad. I'm not sure his plane can fly in this weather."

Immediately the youngster's disappointment showed on his face. "Oh."

Sandy tried to cheer her grandson up. "It's okay, Henry. If your daddy can't be here for Christmas, we'll just save some presents and have Christmas _again_ , when he gets here."

Henry brightened a little at that, but was a wise enough six year old to know that it just wouldn't be the same.

* * *

Jammies were on, teeth brushed, stories read. Charles added the story of the first Christmas, and JJ was reminded of her childhood. Hearing Charles' deep voice recounting the story of the young couple and their child in the stable, she'd always felt like she was listening to the voice of God.

The adults were about to put out the light and wish Henry 'sweet dreams' when he asked, "Mommy, can we go outside?"

"What? Now, Henry? Why do you want to go outside?"

"Me and you and Rosie. Can we go outside?"

She didn't understand. "Henry, what are you talking about?" As she spoke, JJ put her lips to his forehead, checking for a fever.

"I need to go outside. Like Daddy does. Daddy says God hears him the best when he's outside."

The adults exchanged looks. Henry wanted to pray. And they were sure they knew what he wanted to pray for.

JJ wasn't about to squelch that desire in her son. She bundled him in his comforter while Sandy got Rosie tightly wrapped in six blankets. JJ grabbed a jacket. Her parents watched from the darkened kitchen window as JJ and her children went out to their patio.

Henry looked up. There were clouds already moving in, but the stars were still visible between them. He brought his mother and sister over to a chair, and they all huddled together, in the cold December night air.

"God, please bring my daddy home for Christmas. It's Rosie's first Christmas, and she needs her daddy, too. Maybe you can ask Santa to give him a ride on his sleigh."

Henry always tried to offer helpful hints in his prayers.

"Can I talk to Daddy Will now, please?"

JJ hadn't witnessed this particular part of Henry's conversations with God before. It was like he was on a phone, actually talking and actually listening. Her heart was struck by the thought of her boy actually listening to God.

 _Maybe? And maybe I've forgotten how?_ Another thing to learn from the child she was raising…

Henry paused, as though waiting for Will. "Daddy Will, you're my first daddy. Remember we had fun playing with my Christmas presents? Are you having fun playing in heaven?" Henry hoped so. No, he _knew_ so. "Well, Uncle Spence…he's my daddy now, you probably already know that…..he needs a ride home, or he won't be here for Christmas. Can you get him one, please? Is there room on Santa's sleigh? Or maybe, could you send Rudolph to help his plane? Please?" There was a fairly long pause, and then Henry gave a confident, "Thank you. I miss you, Daddy Will. Merry Christmas!"

JJ thought her tears would freeze on her face. Once Henry was finished with his prayer, she hurried them inside, where Henry announced to his waiting grandparents that his daddy would, indeed, be home for Christmas. After she'd gotten both kids down, JJ recounted for her parents what Henry had said during his prayer under the night sky. Sandy teared up as well.

"Oh, I hope he's not disappointed when it doesn't happen. We don't want him thinking his prayers might go unanswered."

Charles, from many years of lived experience...and prayer...just smiled.

* * *

Christmas Day dawned with a blanket of white covering the landscape, and more of it still coming down. And no Spencer Reid.

Henry had wandered into bed with JJ sometime in the middle of the night, and started stirring around six. He nudged JJ.

"Mommy, is it Christmas?"

She had one eye open. "It's Christmas, baby. Merry Christmas!"

"Can we open presents now?"

She could smell coffee. Her parents must already be up. She was surprised she'd not heard Rosie's cry yet. Slowly, JJ put her feet over the side of the bed and grabbed her robe.

"Sure, honey, we can open presents now."

Henry was looking out the window. "Yay, snow! Me and Daddy can make a giant snowman!"

"Honey, remember, Daddy didn't make it home."

"He will, Mommy. Remember, I asked God and Daddy Will. And they said he would."

Remembering how Henry had actually seemed to be listening to something, or Someone, JJ grabbed her phone, expecting to find a text. Nothing. She fired one off to Reid.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS! ARE YOU OKAY?"

They went out to the living room, where the elder Jareaus were entertaining Rosie.

"Merry Christmas, Meme! Merry Christmas, Papa! Merry Christmas, Rosie!"

The adults exchanged greetings as well. "She was just starting to look for you, honey, but I distracted her enough to give you a few more minutes of sleep." Her mother handed Rosie over to JJ.

Henry was looking all around. "Where's Daddy?"

Rosie was already greedily feeding, but JJ reached out her free arm to pull Henry close to her.

"Honey, remember, he's stuck. He really wants to be here, but the snow is getting in his way."

Henry looked like the light had gone out inside. He had a silent conversation: _' No Daddy for Christmas? But You said!'_

They could hear the plow go by outside.

"Think about the men who drive the plows, Henry. They're not home with their families for Christmas, either." Sandy forgot that six year olds didn't entertain that kind of logic.

"But I want my…..DADDY!" Henry was running for the front door. He'd seen something through the window.

The door opened, and Henry leapt into Reid's arms. "Daddy! Merry Christmas, Daddy!" He squeezed as tightly as his short arms would allow.

Reid's eyes were closed in what looked to JJ like a silent prayer. Then he opened them to look at her, holding their daughter, and smiled. She gave it back to him, her sunshine smile.

"Merry Christmas, sweet wife."

"Merry Christmas, Spence."

They kissed their hellos without disturbing Rosie. Reid wanted to hug her as well, but knew from experience not to get between his daughter and her meals. Sandy and Charles embraced him.

"Spencer, you're freezing! Come and sit by the tree, in front of the fire. I'll get you some coffee." Sandy loved to mother her son-in-law.

He gratefully obeyed. Finally, Rosie was full, and burped, and ready for her Dad. Reid took her from JJ gently, holding her head in his huge palm, and talking to her softly.

"I missed you, baby girl. And I almost missed your first Christmas but, thank God and a host of plow drivers, I made it."

Henry was so excited to have Reid home that he wasn't even pushing to open presents. He just wanted to sit by his father's side, holding on.

"How _did_ you get here, Spencer?" Charles asked the question all of them wanted answered.

Reid took a sip of his coffee and then put it down so he could hold Rosie with one hand, and keep an arm around Henry as well. JJ, watching them, thought _'I don't need any other gift than this. My husband and my children, together.'_

Reid explained. "Well, the case broke really late. We were waiting on a lab result to confirm the unsub. It finally came through, but the weather was already turning there. High winds and driving rain. The plane couldn't take off. Lucky for me, we have a unit chief who is also a parent."

He looked at JJ, who agreed that Hotch was understanding and supportive of them as they raised their family.

"So he arranged that I could take one of the local's SUVs and try to drive home. Which went okay until about a hundred miles from here. By then, the rain had turned to snow and it was pretty much a blizzard. I could barely see. And then I went off the road and into a ditch."

JJ and Sandy gasped. "Spence, are you all right?"

He reassured his wife. "Fine. Both me and the car. But I couldn't get it out. Lucky for me, a plow was coming by. The snow was so thick I could only see it by the red flashing light on the top. So I made my way to the road and flagged him down."

"Rudolph!" Henry was now _sure_ his prayer had been answered. And so were the rest of them.

He had a tow chain with him, and he pulled me out. And then he had me follow in his path, and then passed me off to another plow driver. For the last hundred miles, they've been passing me off from one to another, right up to our driveway. I never would have made it home without them."

"The kindness of strangers," murmured Charles.

"Amen to that," Reid agreed.

* * *

The rest of the day was the kind of which family memories are made…both hectic and lazy, comfortable and warm, and full of gratitude for being together. An exhausted Henry went down early, as did his grandparents. Reid and JJ would have followed suit, but this was one of those rare opportunities for them to be alone together.

They sat in front of the fire, Reid on the floor and JJ behind him on the sofa, massaging his shoulders.

"I can still feel the tension in them. We need to get you to relax."

He partially turned to look at her. "I can think of a way to accomplish that."

She smiled at him. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing." She got up and put her hand down to help him from the floor. As he got up, she asked about something that had been bothering her.

"Spence, why did you stop texting me? And why didn't you answer mine?"

"My phone was dead. And there was no charger in the SUV. I'd been in too much of a hurry to think of it before I left."

"So you didn't even have a way to call for help? Spence, what if that plow hadn't come by? You could have frozen to death in that SUV!"

"I know, I was really lucky."

No one had mentioned Henry's prayer to him. Now JJ explained. "I don't think it was luck, Spence."

He agreed with her. He'd been praying too, in North Carolina, on the road, in the ditch. He was touched to think that Henry would ask Will to look out for him. Reid took his wife by the hand. "Come with me."

She knew they were heading outside. It had been Reid's 'church' for quite a while now, and she could understand why he felt that way. They both stepped out to the patio, holding one another close in the cold.

Silently, Reid offered his thanks to the man who'd preceded him in the lives of JJ and Henry _. 'I gave you my word that I would look after them, and I meant it. And I'm grateful to have your help.'_

Then, as though they'd planned it, they both looked up at the sky, now clear and starlit. And both of them uttered the same prayer, aloud this time. "Thank You."


	2. A Tree As High As the Sky

_**A.N. Takes place after The Sound of Silence** _

* * *

**A Tree As High As the Sky**

"Spence, she won't even remember going….will she?" With Rosie, one could never be sure.

"If she doesn't, we'll just have to go again…and again…and.."

"Yay! Can we go every year?" Henry had heard about the Lego Store. And FAO Schwartz. And, if there was any food he loved almost as much as chocolate chip pancakes, it was pizza. He'd heard about the pizza, too.

JJ ruffled her son's blonde locks. "Why don't we see how it goes this time? And if we all like it….then sure, we can go again. Now, can you hand me those pajamas?"

JJ continued her task of packing a suitcase for their planned two night stay.

"I spoke with Mom and Dad. They'll be here when we get home from work tomorrow, so we can get right on the road. And Karen, bless her heart, said 'yes' to taking Casey."

Reid laughed. "Karen loves Casey. And I think the feeling is mutual."

Their long-time sitter usually watched over the family golden during their absences, but this was the first time she was sitting only the dog.

"You're right, Daddy. The other day, Karen said Casey was the best kid in the house!"

The two adults looked at each other and laughed. Henry was bright, but it appeared there were still a few things that could go over his head.

"Hey, Little Man, I think I hear your sister waking up. Can you go and amuse her while we finish up here?"

"Okay, Mommy!" Henry still spoke almost exclusively in exclamation points.

Reid was glad for the moment alone with his wife. He'd been wondering about something.

"Are your parents excited to be going? Or will it bring back…."

She knew what he meant. Visiting New York City at Christmas time had been a Jareau family tradition for many years. But it had been interrupted when JJ's sister had taken her own life.

"They'll be okay, I think. Actually, they sounded kind of excited about it. We stopped for a few years after my sister died, but then Dad wanted to get us back to normal, whatever normal was. So we went again a few times, until I went away to school."

"So there are good memories from both before and after?"

"Exactly. And, to tell you the truth, I think my Dad always really loved it. Big old softie loved the lights, and the displays. He even loved watching the kids talk to 'the real Santa' at Macy's….even when I was too old to do it."

Reid's eyes widened in surprise at the description of Charles Jareau. He'd come to love his father-in-law, but he also still had a healthy respect for the man's sometimes gruff exterior. He smiled to think of the JJ's father harboring a secret softness for a child's experience of Christmas. And glad to have provided him with yet another child to share that softness with.

"Then I'm glad we're all going together. And…." He put an arm around JJ's waist and drew her to him. "I'm glad I get to finally get back there with you."

He punctuated his statement with a kiss.

"Me too." She returned to her task and put a few more things into the suitcase, her movements slowed by her memory. "You know, Spence….all that time ago…the first time we did the tourist thing in New York…I had absolutely no idea how we'd end up. Did you?"

He nodded in agreement. "Not a clue. Some dreams….but it was too soon between us, you know? I didn't even have hope yet. Just some dreams. And then…..well, I sure never pictured us doing this." Waving his hand at the array of clothes and infant paraphernalia laid out on the bed.

She laughed. "I know. We're so used to fitting everything into our little go bags. And then look what the 'little people' create."

"It's not so much the 'little people'. It's that _one_ little person. The one who's getting louder. I think she's tired of Henry's antics."

"Well, you'd better go and rescue your son, then. I'll finish up here."

"Gladly."

* * *

"Dada! Dada!"

It was definitely specific, and had been for a long time. Just over a year of age now, Rosie had done almost everything early, to the great delight of her parents. And especially her genius father.

"Dada!" Her hands held onto the upper railing of the crib as she stood and bounced on the mattress.

"Rosie Posie!" Reid mimicked her voice back at her, making her laugh. Henry, too.

"You sound just like her, Dad!"

"Dada, up!" She stopped her bouncing and lifted her arms. "Up!"

Reid bowed in front of the crib. "Your wish is my command, my princess."

As he lifted her, Rosie's arms circled around his neck in a tight hug, and Reid squeezed her to him and kissed the top of her head. "Love you, Baby Girl."

Henry, listening, made an observation. "I always hear Uncle Thunder call Aunt Penelope 'Baby Girl'. But he's not her father, is he?"

Reid snorted. "Oh, _please_ ask me that question again the next time they're over here. Make sure you ask it nice and loud."

The little blonde was puzzled, but compliant. "Okay, Daddy," he shrugged.

* * *

"You heading right out?" Rossi stopped by Reid's desk in the bullpen before leaving for the day.

"I think we're waiting until after dinner. Let the traffic clear out, get the kids in their pajamas, and hope they sleep the whole way."

Rossi chuckled. "What, you don't want to hear 'are we there yet' every mile or so?"

Reid laughed. "I think even Rosie knows how to say it by now."

"That's my goddaughter." Then the senior profiler sprung a surprise. "Do you need directions to the hotel?"

The younger man was puzzled. He'd made the reservations himself, and couldn't remember telling anyone where they were staying. Maybe JJ had?

"Directions?"

"Yeah. You don't want to show up at the wrong hotel."

"Well, I know the traffic can be challenging, but the street grid is pretty straightforward. And besides, I put it in my phone. The GPS will get us there."

"Well, it may get you 'there'. But will it get you to The Jewel?"

"The Jewel?"

"Only the finest little gem right overlooking the tree. Right in the middle of the action."

Reid had booked many blocks away. He couldn't afford 'right in the middle of the action'. And he told Rossi so.

His senior colleague put up an instructive finger. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong, my boy. It's not what you can afford. It's who you know."

Reid gave him a sidewise look. "And who would I know?"

Rossi shook his head, in mock disappointment that their resident genius wasn't following him.

"It's not who _you_ know. It's who _I_ know. And, in this case, I happen to know the vice president of the particular hotel in question. And I might have happened to mention how my favorite….well, my only…..goddaughter would be visiting his illustrious city on the first weekend of December."

Reid wasn't a genius for nothing. "Oh, no. No, Rossi. We couldn't accept…."

Rossi spoke right over him. "You're accepting nothing…..you're filling a couple of empty rooms for a good friend of mine, that's all."

Reid studied him for artifice. Seeing none, he tried to verify. "So, you're saying they had a couple of rooms open, and we're helping them out by filling them. And they've somehow become affordable. Why am I having trouble believing that?"

"Spencer, please. It's just a token, on his part and on mine. You know I think of your kids as the grandchildren I would otherwise never have. Please, let me spoil them…just a little."

It wasn't fair for Rossi to pull the 'grandchildren' card, thought Reid. _He knows I'm a sucker for that._

Without ever having had a discussion about it, both of the adult Reids and David Rossi had fallen into a unique relationship. Part collegial, part familial. The seasoned FBI agent had found himself drawn to JJ after she'd confessed it was his writing, and meeting him at a book signing, that had launched her FBI career.

And Reid…..Reid was different from anyone Rossi had ever met. The young genius had visibly matured in the time Rossi had known him, inspiring a pride that was far more paternal than Rossi would have expected. The older man, thrice divorced, only briefly a parent, had often wondered what it would have been like if his precious son had lived more than a day. He'd come to believe that James would have been very like Spencer, if only in his altruism and loyalty. Without consciously intending it, he'd come to look upon Reid as the son he'd been denied so long ago.

"Spencer?"

Reid conceded defeat with a chuckle. "Far be it from me to argue with the great David Rossi. So, exactly where are we staying?

* * *

"Mommy! Daddy! Wake up!"

Last night, Henry had fallen asleep before they hit Baltimore, and had been carried as dead weight to the hotel room. The _luxurious_ hotel room, which adjoined that of the Jareaus. For Henry, it was as though he'd awakened in a palace.

"Mommy! Daddy! Is the M&M store open yet? Can we go? Can we go now?"

Reid had only managed to get one eye open. He was exhausted from the four hour drive after a full day at the BAU. His grunt was pleading, if grunts could be said to have an emotion. JJ picked up on it.

"Shh, Henry. Daddy's still sleeping. Here,…" she pulled back the blanket, "….come on in with us, and rest for a little while longer."

Never one to turn down an invitation to sleep with his parents, Henry scooted over from the other bed and nestled himself in between JJ and Reid.

JJ turned on her side so she could see him better. She started running her fingers through Henry's hair.

"Are you excited?" she whispered. Hoping he would pick up on the 'whispering' pattern.

He did. "Yeah! Can we go to the M&M store? Can we eat breakfast there?"

She laughed. "I don't think they have breakfast there, Little Man. How about we sleep for a little longer, and then we'll all have a _healthy_ breakfast. And _then_ we'll go to the M&M store."

"Okay. But when are we going to see Santa?"

Henry had seen the jolly old guy arrive at the end of the Macy's parade on Thanksgiving. He was anxious to be able to have a conversation with the 'real' Santa this year.

"We can see him this afternoon, after lunch. Okay?"

Henry was excited. "Do you think he'll remember me, Mama? I mean, he probably knows we live in Virginia. Will he know me if he sees me here?"

She smiled, full of love for the enthusiasm of her little boy. "I'm sure of it, Henry. Santa knows everything, remember?"

"Yeah," eyes shining. Then, "yeah…." More subdued. Then, ''Do you think he remembers _everything_ , Mom?"

JJ briefly debated not taking him off the hook. But it was Christmas. "I think he only remembers the good things, Buddy."

Big grin. "Yeah. The good things."

* * *

"Wow….I never knew there were so many colors! Can we get some of each, Meme?"

"Henry, do you know how much they cost per pound?" Sandi Jareau wasn't cheap…she was frugal.

JJ caught the tail end of the conversation and intervened. "How about we get one of these fancy dispensers? And then we can buy a whole bunch of M&Ms when we get home. Okay?"

Reid chimed in. "I don't know. Those turquoise ones probably taste a whole lot better than the regularly priced ones."

JJ pushed him away. "You! You're supposed to be trying to help here, you know."

Reid mimed insult. "Do you hear that, Rosie?" He spoke to the infant in his arms. "I'm not being helpful."

"Dada! 'elp!"

Her parents looked at each other and laughed. Rosie was become a 'Little Miss Echo', and they were soon going to have to be careful about what they said in front of her.

* * *

The day was wonderful…..and exhausting. All of the adults blessed David Rossi several times over when they were close enough to stop back at the hotel for a mid-afternoon nap before venturing out again. They'd managed to visit FAO Schwartz in the morning, and Henry had taken his turn on the oversized, foot-operated piano, Rosie enthusiastically clapping her support. And then both of the young ones had completely crashed, done in by a toy-induced high.

At Charles' suggestion, they'd ordered a pizza and brought it back to the hotel. Henry reported that the flavor was 'dancing on my tongue' in a way that made him very, very happy. And then, full. And then, out cold.

"We can watch them if you two would like to go out again," offered Sandy.

JJ made eyes at Reid's exaggerated yawn. "I think we need a nap, too."

"Mmm," said her husband, "sounds heavenly to me. Besides, I think we'll need all the energy we can muster for visiting Santa."

* * *

When he'd first heard the Reids' plan for a New York City visit, David Rossi had insisted they go early in the season.

"Remember, I'm from Long Island. It was an annual pilgrimage for us. And I can tell you that it only _seems_ like a good idea to go right before Christmas. Because too many other people have the same idea. You can barely move in the streets, let alone take your time to look at the sights before someone is bumping you along. Go early, and you'll see the city the way it was meant to be seen. She's a beautiful thing."

As they made their way downtown to Macy's, Reid found himself agreeing with Rossi. The streets were bustling, but not overwhelming. The storefront displays beautifully created a holiday atmosphere, and the many stores that contained animated displays provided entertainment along the way. And then…they were there. Macy's. Where Kris Kringle listened to the longings of boys and girls of all ages.

But first, they took in the perimeter of the building, whose displays told several different stories of Christmas. When Henry seemed about to jump out of his skin in anticipation, they went inside and made their way to the eighth floor, to Santa Land.

As they exited the elevator to the North Pole, JJ shared an amazed look with her parents. It had been over twenty years since they'd visited this particular part of the city's annual holiday celebration. Back then, there had been a few trees, some artificial snow, and...Santa. Now….it was an entire village of structures and displays, and mythical, magical creatures, both artificial and real.

"Buddy!" yelled Henry when he saw the full sized human in the short green tunic and leggings. "It's Buddy!"

They'd watched the movie last year. Six times. And twice already this year.

"And look, a train! And Santa's workshop!"

Every turn in the line seemed to provide a new vista to entertain the little ones as they awaited their turn with Santa. Although their wait was fairly short, JJ was glad to have Henry distracted from it. The nearer he got to Santa, the more anxious he seemed.

Finally, it was their turn. Henry, once intimidated by the venerable man in red, ran right up to him. Rosie, on the other hand, clung tightly to her father's neck. This didn't look like anyone she had ever seen before. And she wasn't particularly fond of strangers.

Even Henry's encouragement wouldn't move Rosie to release her hold on Reid.

"Sorry," he explained to Santa. "She's at the stranger anxiety stage. Again."

"Ho,ho, ho! Not to worry. Happens all the time. Here, why don't you and Mama come sit beside me and we can take a photo all together."

Rosie liked that idea a lot better. But the photo showed her continued wariness. In it, all three of the other Reids were smiling, but Rosie was casting a glance over her shoulder at the laughing man with the white beard.

"She looks like she's profiling him," Rossi would laugh, when he saw it. "Good idea, too. All that facial hair, the hat, the glasses….classic forensic countermeasures."

Once the photo op was over, Henry and Santa got down to business. The little boy insisted his parents move out of earshot. He had something he wanted only Santa to know.

Standing just outside the space, Reid and JJ watched as their son seemed intent on getting his message across to Santa.

"Any idea what it is? What is he asking Santa for?" Charles Jareau relished his role as a grandfather. After the difficult year his daughter's family had just experienced, he wanted nothing more than to have it end on a high note. Fulfilling Henry's Christmas wish was important to him.

JJ shook her head. "He hasn't said. I've asked him a few times, and all he said was 'I'll tell Santa'."

Reid volunteered, "I think he might have told Garcia. I know she was pumping him for information." Charles Jareau wasn't the only one who wanted to spoil Henry. "And I think she got something out of him. But she wouldn't tell me, either."

"Hmm." JJ intended to do some pumping herself, when they got back and saw their favorite tech analyst again.

As they watched from the short distance away, the adults saw that Santa seemed to be doing a lot of the talking, Henry listening intently. Then they saw Henry nod, and slide off Santa's lap. And then turn around and shake the man's hand. And then watched as the handshake turned into a hug.

Santa and Henry waved goodbye to one another, and then the little blonde led his family back out of Santa Land and to the elevator that would bring them back to the real world.

Reid tried. "Santa seemed to have a lot to say to you, little man. What were you guys talking about?"

"It was private, Dad."

JJ and Reid looked at each other. _Private._

"Oh, okay, then. Hey, who wants a pretzel?"

* * *

The crowd thickened a bit as they walked back uptown, just enough to add to the excitement in the evening twilight. And then, as they made their way past one last building….there it was.

Henry's neck craned all the way back as his eyes traveled from bottom to top.

"Wow! Look! The tree is as high as the sky! Just like he said!"

Covered in thousands of lights, topped with a crystal star.

"Just like who said, Henry?" Reid was the only one who'd caught the remark. Henry seemed not to hear him, but just stood perfectly still and perfectly silent, looking upward.

"It's beautiful," breathed Sandy. "Just like I remembered."

"Seventy-six footer this year," informed Charles, who'd done his own research for this year's trip.

"Is it real, Mama?"

'Mama'. Henry's 'tell'.

It was the name he used for her when he was upset. Since the near tragedies of the past summer…..the loss of her parent's home to an arson fire, the near loss of Reid from their lives….she'd heard it more and more often. She hoped it was just becoming interchangeable with 'Mommy'. But she couldn't be sure.

"It's real, Buddy."

"But where do they get it from?"

"Lots of different places, Henry." Reid had done his own research. "Usually it comes from somebody's yard."

"You mean, they just cut it down and bring it here?" Henry wasn't so sure he liked that idea. It sounded too much like loss.

Spencer read his son well. "No tree lives forever, Henry. So the people who know these trees the best…the ones whose yards they come from….they want the tree to become as beautiful as it possibly can be. And they want everyone else to see how beautiful it is. They want to share it. I think the tree would be happy about that, don't you?"

It _was_ beautiful. And it did seem like it already touched the sky. Maybe tree heaven was full of such glorious things. Henry was satisfied.

"Yeah, you're right, Dad. It looks happy!"

* * *

After dinner, JJ and Reid accepted her parents' renewed offer to watch the kids. The little ones would spend the night in their grandparents' room. Henry looked upon it as a sleepover during a sleepover, and was excited.

"Rosie! We're sleeping with Meme and Papa tonight! Isn't that great?"

"'eat!" She clapped her agreement. Rosie was a clapper.

They moved much of the kids' gear to the Jareaus' room, and then prepared to slip away.

"Thanks, Mom, Dad. This is…"

"Great! It's great!" Her husband finished the thought for her.

"Our pleasure," Sandy replied. "You two have fun. And don't be texting every five minutes. They'll be fine. Just enjoy yourselves."

"Yes, ma'am." The two spoke as one.

* * *

JJ knew exactly what she wanted to do first. Without telling Spence what she planned, she led him across the way and back to Rockefeller Plaza. Right to the entrance to…

"JJ, I don't know how to skate!"

"Relax, Spence. It's easy. And besides, the crowd is thinning. Pretty soon we'll have the rink to ourselves."

"That will just give me more room to fall."

She turned to him. "Spencer Reid, do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. It's me I don't trust. Especially my ankles."

She took him by the hand and led him to the rental desk. "Your ankles will be fine."

After they'd laced up, Reid made his way awkwardly over to the rink entrance. Reluctantly, he followed his wife onto the ice. And almost fell.

"JJ, I can't walk on these things."

"You're not supposed to walk. You're supposed to glide. See?" She proceeded to demonstrate.

_Easy for you to say. Look how far I have to fall._

"C'mon, Spence, try it. You'll love it, once you get going."

_The things I do for love._

He slid one skate forward, and had to windmill to regain his balance. But he didn't fall. So he tried again, on the other. Got a little farther, using the same strategy. Tried again back on the first foot. Farther still.

JJ kept putting more distance between them, causing Reid to try a longer swipe of the blade with each stroke. He gained more distance, and more balance, with each lunge. Within a few minutes, he'd made it the length of the rink, and gained a smidgeon of confidence. JJ had skated ahead a bit, and now came back to join him.

"Ready to do it together?"

With an uncertain nod, he agreed. "I guess so."

She kept her speed down, to stay parallel with him. With her by his side, and his feet slowly getting under him, Reid felt sure enough to raise his gaze to the sights surrounding him. They were deep to the tree now, giving him much the same view Henry'd had earlier today. It really did seem to go to the sky, it's crystal topping looking like the brightest star in the heavens. With the cool breeze against his cheeks, his wife by his side and the exhilaration of moving about on the ice, Reid felt just that.

_Heaven. In the middle of New York City._

But even heaven has its limits, and Reid reached his after about thirty minutes on the ice. The pair skated their way to the edge of the rink and went to retrieve their shoes.

"So?" JJ said it in her 'I told you so' tone of voice.

Reid conceded. "It wasn't so bad." At her look, he added, "It was kind of great, actually. Fun. Wonderful. Amazing. Stupen…."

She laughed. "All right, you don't have to overdo it. You _looked_ like you were having fun out there."

He put his arm around her waist. "I got to fly around on the ice with the most beautiful woman in New York City. Who could possibly complain about that?"

JJ leaned up to kiss her husband. "Let's get some cocoa."

Now that the exertion was over, he _was_ feeling a little chilled. "Sure, sounds good to me."

They found a shop on the promenade that was happy to sell them overpriced hot chocolate.

"I think this was what the original hotel room cost, JJ." Reid took after his mother-in-law in this regard, having spent his childhood stretching every dollar he and his mother owned.

"As far as I'm concerned, that money was already spent. So let's not worry about what we spent it on." JJ had them put the two valuable drinks in to-go cups. "Let's go back and watch the skating."

They found a spot where they could sit, and sip, and watch. Reid tasted his drink and smacked his lips in satisfaction.

"Ahh. It _is_ good. And it hits the spot after that workout. The only thing that would make it better would be…"

"This." JJ reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a bottle from their mini-bar. Brandy. "I might have planned ahead."

Reid grinned as he watched her pour it into each of their cups. "I am so lucky to have a wife who thinks of everything."

* * *

Later, in their darkened hotel room, JJ and Reid stood at the window and looked out over the still-bustling vista below.

"The city that never sleeps," Reid observed.

"It's comforting, sort of, isn't it? That people are carrying on with life even while we're up here dreaming? So we'll be able to step right back into the stream of it tomorrow."

Her husband nodded. "It is. Except…."

"Except?"

"Except 'dreaming' wasn't what I had in mind."

She smiled. "You know, Dr. Reid, we really are well-matched. I was thinking exactly the same thing."

So they dispensed with the dream, and lived the reality. And then dreamt about it, afterward.

* * *

Several weeks had passed since the trip to NYC, and Christmas was edging ever nearer.

"So, Henry, are you sure you don't want to tell us what you and Santa talked about?"

"I just told him something, that's all." Henry was tired of having been quizzed about the conversation for the past several weeks. But JJ was still stumped as to what the little guy wanted for Christmas.

"So….is he bringing you something on Christmas Eve?" Trying a different approach.

Henry didn't appear to know how to answer that. Which piqued JJ's curiosity all the more.

"Henry?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe." She thought about it for a minute. "Henry, are you thinking Santa might not bring you a present?"

There had been a few outbursts from the little guy in the months following the fire and Reid's assault. To the adults, they were completely understandable. But the little boy might see them as reasons for Santa putting him on the 'naughty' list.

"Well…"

JJ's heart sank. How had she missed this? He hadn't seemed particularly sad or unhappy lately. It had been over a month since the last sign of emotional struggle. She pushed aside the laundry basket and patted her lap.

"I'm too big, Mama."

"You've got a long way to go before you're too big for your Mama's lap, little man. Come on up here."

She lifted him up and, when he reflexively put his arms around her neck, she found her eyes suddenly brimming. But she didn't want him to see, so she just held him close as she spoke.

"Henry, honey. It's been a tough year for all of us. But especially for you. Santa understands if you get upset sometimes. Remember, he knows everything that happens to you. He knows you're a good boy."

This touched on something that had been confusing Henry.

"Mama….are Santa and God friends?"

_Ooh, I hate when You sneak these conversations up on me! Help!_

Hoping she would be channeling information from above, JJ started, "Why do you ask that, Baby?"

"Because they both know everything. And we ask both of them for things. And they give them to us."

He had a point.

"Oh. Well, when you put it that way…..yes, I guess they are. Friends, that is." _Right?_

Henry seemed to accept that in silence. Which prompted his mother to ask another question.

"So, what made you think about that, Henry?"

He'd held out for weeks. But sitting in his mother's arms, resting his head against her chest, feeling the comfort of her love, Henry's defenses were weakened. And besides, it felt better to talk about it.

"Because….because when I told Santa 'thank you', he thought I meant for the bike I got last year. But I told him 'no'. I was saying 'thank you' for giving my Daddy back. And saving Casey. And finding a new house for Papa and Meme, so we could see them all the time. I asked him to tell God."

JJ's only response was to tighten her grip on her son. She had no words. The little boy had prayed for the life of his father. And now, he was asking God's good friend Santa to pass along a word of thanks.

Henry, on a roll, continued. Having been kept in for so long, it could only flood out now. "So I told him I didn't need anything else for Christmas. He could give my toys to another little boy."

JJ sniffled, unable to contain her tears any longer. The year had been long, and oft times tragic. And yet….it had given her boy a gift like no other. Understanding giftedness. It had given him gratitude.

She sniffed again, and then asked, "What did Santa say?"

"He said that he hadn't met any other little boys who knew they had everything they needed. But he was glad to meet me. And he asked if he could bring me a surprise just because he wanted to."

JJ had renewed respect for the red-suited gentleman sitting in Macy's Santa Land. And gratitude for his wisdom.

_Maybe you are the real Kris Kringle._

Henry wasn't done. "And he said, when I see the tree, I should look for the star on the top. He said God put that star there. He was the only one who could reach. So Santa said I could say 'thank you' to God there."

"And did you?" choked out. Remembering now, his prolonged staring and silence on that afternoon.

"Yup. And God said, "You're welcome, Henry. Merry Christmas!"


	3. Chapter 3

_**A.N. Chapter 3 in the Soundings one-shots series. Takes place after A Voice Cries Out. William visits his son's family at Christmas.  
** _

_**The dove is the traditional symbol of peace, forgiveness and reconciliation.** _

* * *

_**Two Turtle Doves** _

"Are you okay?"

JJ's husband hadn't regaled her with a single factoid all day, a sure sign that he was ruminating on something.

"Yeah. It's just…..it's kind of surreal, you know?"

"When was the last time?"

"That we were together for Christmas? When I was ten years old. He left not long after my eleventh birthday."

That brought a brow up on JJ's face. She'd known his age when his father left. She'd related to it, having shared a loss at the same age. But she'd not known the timing. Reid's birthday was in October.

"That must have been awfully close to the holidays."

"Not close. _On_. He left the evening of Thanksgiving. My mom was off on one of her rants about government plots, claiming they put something in the turkey to sedate us all. She took the whole meal and threw it in the garbage."

"Ouch. Guess she didn't know about tryptophan, huh?"

"Oh, she knew. It was just that, in her mind, the tryptophan was put there by the government. And, since my dad had cooked the turkey, she thought he was in collusion with them."

"And he just left?"

JJ had finally met William Reid last year, after he'd gone through a terrible ordeal. What she and Reid had learned about Spence's early life, and that of his family, in the process of working the case, had put a new spin on William's walking out on his wife and child.

The ending of the ordeal hadn't exactly led to a reconciliation. It was more of a slow, tentative thawing of the ice. But it had been enough to earn William an invitation to visit them. That he was coming for the Yuletide holiday was Henry's doing. He'd learned his 'new' grandfather might be visiting the area, and lobbied to have him come for Christmas.

Reid answered JJ's query about his father departing on that long ago Thanksgiving. "He tried to reason with her, but she just screamed louder. The only way he could get her to quiet down was to leave."

Despite all the time they'd known one another, despite being married for over two years, despite having met both William and Diana….this was the first time JJ was hearing the details of the day Reid's father left his family. And it wasn't at all what she'd thought it would be.

"So, he left, just to get her to quiet down? But he came back later, didn't he?"

"Nope."

"But…. from what you were saying, it sounded like it might have happened before."

"It did, plenty of times. At first, I was afraid he'd never come back. But he always did. Eventually I realized he was just giving her time to calm down."

"Didn't he take you with him?"

Reid shook his head. "No….well, he did one time. But my mom got so upset that she stood outside and screamed until a neighbor called the police. After that, my dad left me home. I actually understood… it was okay."

Every time she learned something new about her husband's childhood, JJ marveled all over again that he'd survived it intact. Wounded, maybe. Frayed at some of the edges. But whole.

"So…on that Thanksgiving….he didn't come back?"

"Nope. At least, not while I was home. He must have come and gotten his things, maybe while I was at school. But I never saw him in the house again."

She still couldn't fathom it. "But…why? Why then, after all that time?"

They'd learned, less than an year ago, the truth about the death of William's brother, Daniel. For most of Reid's life, William had thought Daniel a suicide, unable to cope with his genius and the fallout from being so different from those around him. It had been, William had told them, a major reason why he'd left Spencer behind with his mother. William's guilt over not being a good support for his younger brother had transformed into fear that he would somehow precipitate the same thing in his own son. And so, he'd told them, he'd left. But this story didn't quite gel with that one. Not yet.

Reid shrugged, not able to provide a good answer. "I don't know. Especially because of what he told us last year. Uncle Daniel had already been dead a few years by then. The only thing I can think of is that I was getting older, probably getting to be more like my uncle. I was already in high school by then. Maybe Dad was just feeling overwhelmed, I don't know. It's like he said, I guess. We're trying to make sense of it, when it doesn't make sense."

JJ studied her husband. "Are you okay with that? With leaving it that way?"

Well aware of Spence's need to understand _everything,_ she found it hard to believe that he could settle for such lack of explanation on one of the most important events of his life.

He looked out the kitchen window, fixated on something in the distance. When he spoke, JJ realized he'd been fixated on something distant in time, not in space.

"I don't know that I'll ever be okay with _any_ of it, JJ. I'm not sure life works that way. Remember when we talked about forgiveness? It doesn't mean forgetting, or deciding that there wasn't something very wrong about what happened. It just means moving on, in spite of it. The only decision I have to make is whether I'm willing to chance that he'll never do anything like that again. For any reason."

Early in their relationship, JJ had been the dispenser of wisdom, most of it gained from her parents, and Reid had soaked it up like a sponge. These days, it was more often _he_ who shared some nugget he'd gained from some of his many hours of reflection _._

_Of course, his 'discussions' with Father O'Neill may have something to do with it as well. Or maybe the BCC._

"And?"

"Am I willing to chance it?" Reid put down the pot he'd been drying. "That depends. He can't hurt me anymore. That much I'm sure of. But the kids… you know how much they love your parents. If they were to get close to him, and then…"

JJ checked on the roast in the oven. "How can you control that? You know Henry loves everyone he meets, and Rosie charms the pants off them."

Both parents grinned at each other, happy at the thought of the sunny personalities of their offspring.

"True," said Rosie's father, who'd been a constant victim of pants-charming since the moment of her birth.

"And they've already met him, last spring. So, I think that die is cast."

He sighed. "You're right. But I can't help being vigilant. If he so much as misses a promised phone call or reneges on a visit, he and I will be having a long talk. Or, maybe a very short one. Short and to the point."

One of the things that JJ loved about her husband was the very same thing that so often exasperated her. He thought nothing at all of placing himself in harm's way, whether it be physical or emotional harm. But he was fiercely protective of his family. She leaned up and kissed his fiercely protective lips.

"Let's hope you'll only have to talk about what they think of DC at Christmastime, and what Santa brought the kids."

William had ensconced his visit with his son's family within a supposed holiday trip to the nation's capital. He was traveling with his 'friend' and co-worker, Dorothy Ricks, who'd looked after him during his long recovery from the ordeal in the desert. They'd been in town for two days, and were expected any minute, planning to join the family for Christmas dinner.

Sandy Jareau came through the kitchen door. "The table is all set, and quite beautifully, if I say so myself."

Reid grinned at his mother-in-law. She'd been fussing over this dinner for days, determined to make a lasting impression on William. Reid was quite certain his father wouldn't notice anything about the table settings, but he was still grateful for the sentiment behind her effort.

Sandy was resolutely defensive of the young man she'd come to see as a son. She simply couldn't fathom how his father might have walked out on him, and she was determined that William should never hurt him again. But she had a soft heart for the wayward, and a past marred by the most devastating kind of family strife. If Reid and his father could find a way to care about one another again, she was glad to be an instrument of reconciliation.

To JJ, Sandy said, "Your father is in his glory. He loves tinkering, and especially with his grandson. He and Henry have that contraption nearly put together."

"Good, because Little Miss Rosie will be up from her nap any minute. I don't want to be sitting at Children's National wondering if they're going to tell me they found that last little metal bolt on her x-ray."

"Got that right. Not with a $75 co-pay!" added her husband.

The door swung open again, Casey proceeding an excited Henry into the kitchen. "Mommy, Dad…..come and see!"

The parents obediently followed their son back into the living room, where Charles sat on the carpet, a satisfied grin on his face.

Reid whistled. "Wow….that's a masterpiece!"

On the floor in front of the Christmas tree was a two foot tall, four foot long race track, complete with loop-de-loops and a catapult to propel tiny cars forward with enough speed to fight gravity. It was the only thing Henry had asked of Santa.

"Watch!" Henry lined up two of his little cars and launched them. "Yay!" came when they successfully inverted on the loops without falling.

"Yay!" echoed all four adults, who knew it would be all too soon before seven year old Henry had outgrown the expression.

Reid helped Charles up from the floor. "Thanks for putting that together with him."

Charles smiled at him. "Thanks for letting me. Don't think I didn't realize my son-in-law-with-a-doctorate-in-engineering couldn't have done it in half the time."

Reid shrugged off the compliment. "I know you love to tinker, so…."

Charles clapped him on the back. "And you know I especially love to tinker with my grandson." An aroma from the kitchen changed the subject. "What is that delightful smell?"

JJ laughed. "Gee, Dad, I don't know. Are you talking about the roast beef or the mac and cheese for the kids?"

"Roast beast?" Henry misheard her.

"Yep," said his father, "with razzleberry dressing." Fortunately, since his eidetic memory retained every word, Reid had come to love the Christmas classics he read with his children.

"Mom, can I have some roast beast too?"

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Rosie was up from her nap and entertaining her grandparents by putting together a large-piece puzzle in record time.

"If her fingers weren't still so stubby, I'll bet she could handle Henry's Star Wars puzzle," observed Sandy.

"She practically did, Honey. Didn't you see her directing the poor little guy on where to put each piece?" Charles chuckled at the memory.

Reid swooped down and lifted Rosie to his shoulders, which were then showered with giggles. "Is that true, Miss Rosie? Were you being bossy with your big brother?"

She had trouble getting the words out through the laughter. "No, Daddy, I help him!"

Reid made another in a series of mental notes about Rosie. All signs pointed to her having inherited a hefty IQ from her father. Both he and JJ were determined not to squelch her use of it, but they were also determined to find a way for that to happen without it alienating her from a normal childhood. 

_Add to the list: don't show anybody up. Most especially, your brother._

The thought was interrupted by the chiming of the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" thundered Henry, as he ran down the hall. He stopped short at the door, checking through the sidelight, as he'd been taught.

"It's Grandpa and that lady!"

He'd only met William once, but Henry had liked him on the spot when he'd learned that William coached his favorite sport, baseball.

Reid and JJ followed their son down the hall and greeted the newcomers, who both looked tentative and uncomfortable.

"Hello, William," JJ offered a kiss to his cheek and a brief hug. Turning to the person next to him, she acknowledged, "Dorothy," shaking the woman's hand. "We're so glad you could come."

"Hello, JJ." Spotting his son behind her, William added, "Spencer."

"Hi Dad," Reid offered his hand, his outstretched arm keeping a certain distance between them. He shook Dorothy Ricks' hand as well, and offered to take their coats.

"Hi Grandpa! What's in the boxes?" asked an excited Henry, looking at the packages in their arms, and not at all concerned about formalities.

"What boxes? Oh, these?"

It was so unlike anything Reid could remember from his childhood. _Is he actually teasing Henry?_ He was amazed at what seemed a totally incongruous behavior from the person he remembered as chronically unhappy and stern.

"Yeah! Are those for us?" Henry had to restrain himself from jumping up and down.

Dorothy responded for them. "Well, these two are. But the other box is for your mother." She turned to JJ. "We found a bakery open this morning. It's just a little dessert."

"I love dessert! What is it?"

"Oh, I don't know if you'll like this one, Henry. It's probably something only grown-ups like. You don't like chocolate cake, do you?"

Reid squinted. _Definitely teasing._ And a little something niggled at the back of his brain. A little something like a memory.

Coats and packages dispensed, William and Dorothy followed the others back to the living room and greeted Sandy and Charles. The Jareaus had met William over dinner out in Las Vegas, but had yet to meet Dorothy. William introduced her.

"This is my friend, Dorothy Ricks."

"Is she your girlfriend, Grandpa?"

The adults all chuckled at Henry's dispensation with subtlety…..but they also all waited for the answer. Reid took note as his father and Dorothy exchanged a look. Then accurately read a note of apology in the look his father sent his way, and knew what his answer would be.

"Well, I guess you might say so, Henry. We've worked together for a long time. And then Dorothy was nice enough to take care of me when I was hurt….do you remember meeting her then?"

Henry nodded. "So, are you gonna get married?" Henry was already thinking about which magic trick he could perform at _that_ wedding.

Both William and Dorothy laughed, embarrassed. Dorothy answered for them.

"We're just taking this nice little trip together for now. Really," she said, looking around at the others, "Washington DC is just beautiful at Christmas."

JJ agreed with her. "We think so, too. We visited New York just before Christmas last year, and we loved it. But everything is so… _big_ ….there. It was a little hard to take in. This is just a little more digestible."

Rosie had toddled over and was tugging at William's pant leg. "Hi!"

William looked down and remembered how easily she's climbed into his lap last winter, and how she'd been so gentle with him. He squatted in front of her.

"Hi, Sweetheart. Merry Christmas!"

She put up her hands, obviously wanting to be lifted. William was touched, and obeyed.

Charles understood the dynamic perfectly, having been subject to it any number of times.

"Careful, William. Rosie is a master at wrapping you around her little finger."

"Then I'm willing to let myself be wrapped."

JJ laughed. "I don't know, William. You might find it pretty crowded. I think your son has taken up permanent residence around those fingers."

William threw Reid a look of….what, exactly, Reid couldn't have said.

"Then I'll be in good company."

* * *

Whether by plan or coincidence, William and Dorothy had arrived close enough to the start of dinner that there was minimal need for small talk. Charles and William joined Henry in playing with his new racetrack while Reid obligingly kept Rosie from walking away with parts of the set.

"Here, Baby Girl, let's play that new game you got."

Candyland was supposed to be for older children, but then….there was Rosie.

Henry overheard his father use one of Rosie's nicknames, and it triggered a question.

"Dad, is Aunt Penelope coming over today?"

"I think she's going to be here for dessert. Why?"

"She probably has a present for me. I _love_ presents!"

Rosie clapped in agreement. "Me, too!"

Reid tried to look stern, but failed. "Just so long as you love _giving_ them, too."

"We _made_ presents, Daddy. Karen helped us. Rosie made one for Aunt Emily and Uncle Dave, and I made one for Aunt Penelope. And I made one for Uncle Thunder, too!"

Since Reid's change in status from 'godfather' to 'father', Derek Morgan had become an unofficial…..and undeclared….godfather to Henry. It was only natural, since he so often accompanied Garcia on her many visits.

_And since he's like a brother to me_ , thought Reid, as he spun the wheel to take his turn at the game. Rosie became caught up in counting out spaces and matching colors on the cards, and giggled every time she landed on a candy. Reid smiled at his daughter, but also kept an eye on his father, who could be seen looking around the room, taking in the décor, the photographs, the books, the handmade ornaments on the tree. Reid felt like William was taking some measure of his son's life. And, to his great surprise, Reid found himself caring about that measure.

The female chatter in the kitchen became louder when Dorothy came through the door with two side dishes.

"I was told to announce that everyone who wants to eat better go and wash their hands."

"That would be me," said Reid. "How about you, Miss Rosie?"

"Play, Daddy."

"We can play after dinner, Little Bit. I know for a fact that your Mom made some macaroni and cheese for you."

"Yay!" The exclamation inherited from her brother.

Once the ablutions were over, the family took their seats around the dining room table, and Reid asked Charles to say the grace for them. Each of them closed their eyes to listen to his words.

"We celebrate Christmas because of a Gift, one that taught us, through example, that _we_ are to be gifts, one to another. As we sit down to this meal together, grateful for the food on the table, for the warmth of the hearth, for the blessings of good health….this year, we are especially grateful to be blessed with the gifts of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters. In the face of such bounty, the only proper words are: thank You".

As they opened their eyes again, they caught a glimpse of a chubby little hand stealing back from the basket of rolls.

"Rosie!" yelled Henry. "Dad, she did it again."

Reid explained to the others. "She's figured out how to take full advantage of prayer time."

Charles defended his granddaughter. "She just wants to taste it, to make sure she's really grateful."

"Mmph," agreed Rosie.

They passed around the dishes, Dorothy remarking on the beauty of the place settings and William careful to mention how delicious everything looked. When JJ started to spoon some macaroni onto Henry's plate, he announced, "I'd like the roast beast, please."

William, holding the plate of meat, was confused, until he saw Reid signaling with his eyes. "This?"

Reid nodded. "I'll take it after Henry. And, can someone please pass the razzleberry dressing?"

* * *

Dinner passed with small talk among the adults, largely minus contributions from William and Reid. Their years of estrangement held their tongues at bay while they each carried on their own internal monologues. Irrationally, Reid felt a burden of guilt that his father was enjoying a family gathering while his mother lay buried, having lost any such opportunity long before her death.

_Even if he'd been there, she couldn't have enjoyed it. The illness took that from her long before he did. You can't keep holding it against him, even if he deserves it. If you're serious about moving on, you need to actually do it. And you need to let him do it, too._

As the meal wound down and the kids begged to go back to playing, Reid and JJ rose and started to clear the table. Sandy and Dorothy started to push back their chairs, but Charles stopped them.

"Why don't we all go and be with the kids? You don't have that much more time in DC, is that correct?"

JJ flashed her father a hurried, grateful look. She knew Spence needed some time alone with her. Apparently her father realized it too. JJ grabbed a pile of dishes and brought them into the kitchen, where Reid had already started filling the sink.

"I'll transport, if you wash."

"Deal."

She brought another load out and laid them on the counter next to him. "Well, what did you think?"

He didn't try to pretend. "I thought it was ….normal. Mundane. Like we've been doing it for years."

She stood and watched his profile as he rinsed dishes. "Not quite what you expected, huh?"

He let the water run over the back of a plate while he thought. "I'm not sure what I expected. I mean, on the scale of my life, it was a seismic magnitude…a ten, maybe. Earth-changing, if not earth-shattering. But I guess that was the _fact_ of it. That we hadn't been together in over twenty years. That we'd rejected each other for that long. But the fact is one thing. The living out of it…completely another."

She loaded the rinsed plates into the dishwasher. "I guess there were only so many ways it could play out. High drama was pretty low on the list."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about that. It's just that….I don't know. It was as though it was a common thing, except that it was being done with strangers. Which isn't exactly how it should be with family."

Wise JJ took the lead now. "That's the part that takes growing into, Spence. You guys are family in _fact_ , as you put it, but not in _practicality_. It was never going to feel like that, the first time. Look at how it is with our friends. When you first came to the BAU, could you even picture having Morgan over to dinner? Having Henry call him Uncle Thunder? And, remember when you first met Rossi? You practically fell over yourself hero-worshipping him. Now he's Rosie's godfather. You never pictured any of that, did you?"

He put down the sponge and turned to his wife, drying his hands before he took her shoulders.

"I never pictured ever being able to even _talk_ to you. You were so beautiful….still are. But I grew into it. Boy, did I grow into it!"

She smiled. "That, you did. And so, I rest my case."

He held her, and lost himself in those blue, blue eyes. Sought himself in her, as he so often did. Found himself. Found wisdom.

"So, I need to be patient. I need to not judge. Just take him at his word, accept what he has to give, without holding it up to some impossible measure."

"Yep." Her flippant answer was followed by an earnest one. JJ took his face into her hands. "Spence, some day…..maybe not far into the future….we might be looking back on this and not even be able to remember how awkward it felt. We'll just remember it as a family dinner, the first of many. And we'll be happy."

He stared at her, then leaned down and captured her lips. "I hope you're right."

"Aren't I always?"

* * *

Reid was giving his father a tour of his bookshelves when the doorbell chimed once again. Henry knew more dessert and presents were arriving, and made a beeline down the hall.

"Aunt Penelope! Uncle Thunder!" Then he saw another set of car doors opening in the street. "Hey, Rosie, it's Aunt Emily and Uncle Dave!"

There followed a round of greetings, and coat-takings, and dessert-delivering, and package–shaking. Once the new arrivals had made it all the way to the living room, William observed, "This is almost your whole team, isn't it? Except for Aaron Hotchner."

Rossi offered the explanation. "He's with his wife's family. He and Jack spend every Christmas with them."

Henry had been polite for a full seven minutes before his patience ran out. "Can we open them now? Can we?"

JJ conceded. "I guess we may as well all open our gifts now. Don't you guys have some things for your godparents? And we have something for William."

As the godparents unwrapped their homemade ornaments, William got up and went to the master bedroom to retrieve something from his coat. By the time he returned, Henry and Rosie were opening their gifts.

JJ shot her best girlfriend a ' _what were you thinking_ ' look when Henry held up a remote-controlled helicopter.

"Oh, don't worry, Jayje. It's only meant to fly inside the house."

"That's exactly what I _am_ worried about!"

Rosie pulled the paper off a package that was nearly as big as she was, a combined gift from Emily and Rossi. With the paper finally off, she could only stand and stare.

JJ was staring as well. "It looks exactly like her! Rossi, how in the world did you do that?"

Knowing, instinctively, that only Rosie's Uncle Dave would know the proper strings to pull.

"Cara, I thought you knew. Santa and I are like that." He crossed his middle and index fingers.

JJ was still shaking her head as she reached back behind the tree for a wrapped package. Reid joined her as she brought it over to William.

"It's just a little thing, but we wanted you to have it."

William seemed happily surprised at being gifted. His hands made short work of the wrapping, and he lifted a wooden frame from the box within.

"It's you. All of you." Holding a portrait they'd had taken a month ago. Even Casey had gotten in on the action.

"It's your family."

No one was more surprised than Spencer Reid at the words that had just left his mouth. But all of the others exchanged pleased looks among themselves.

William had trouble finding his voice, until a subtle squeeze of his fingers from Dorothy. Then he pulled out a similarly shaped, but smaller, package from behind him on the sofa. Silently, he handed it to Reid.

JJ laid a hand on her husband's arm as he opened the box. His eyes widened, and then began to blink rapidly, at the contents within.

William, of course, knew what his son was looking at. "It's _your_ family, Spencer."

A small frame held a color photograph of a smiling Diana and William Reid, and a widely grinning four year old Spencer. A photograph of happy times.

"Where was this? We went all through your home." Referencing the search for evidence when William was missing.

"It was behind the baseball picture. The one of you and me. I guess I didn't think I deserved to look at this one every day."

Reid continued to stare at the picture. "I think I remember this day. Mom had been doing pretty well, hadn't she? And…"

"And Daniel was still alive. He took that photo, actually."

Reid was momentarily lost to another place and time. When he returned, he uttered, "Thank you…Dad. Thanks."

William smiled in return, and reached into his vest pocket, his hand emerging holding an envelope.

"There's something else. It's not exactly a gift, but….well, I thought you might be pleased." He handed the envelope to his son.

JJ read over her husband's shoulder when he pulled what appeared to be a formal letter from within. William explained as the younger Reids perused the contents of the letter.

"When it was discovered that Daniel hadn't committed suicide….that he'd been killed over the patent rights…well, it's a long story. But, to get to the point, the courts decided that the patent rights were part of Daniel's estate, which was left solely to me. So…."

Reid looked from the letter, to his father, and back again. "So, it says here that the estate is now worth several million dollars, and there are more royalties from the patent all the time."

"Exactly. I hope you don't mind, son. I hope it won't seem presumptuous of me. But I put aside a good amount to pay for college for my grandchildren, and with the rest…."

"The Diana Reid Foundation for the Cure. You created a foundation for research into schizophrenia?" Amazement evident in his voice.

"I thought it might please her. And you."

JJ was having trouble seeing through the film of tears in her eyes, but she was pretty sure she spied the same in every pair around the room. She could feel her husband's trembling beneath her fingers on his back.

"Thank you, William," she managed to get out. "It's perfect. Isn't it, Spence?"

Exactly how perfect it was became clear when he asked, "Do you think they would let me consult with them? I've done a lot of research over the years, and…"

William smiled. "I think they would. And nothing would make me happier."

Reid knew what else William needed to hear. And he offered it, his real gift to his father.

"Mom would be happy, too."

* * *

Dessert was a lap-based affair, cookies and cake and coffee and milk all around the twinkling Christmas tree, and the bright fire in the hearth. Happy chatter filled the room as people came and went, helping themselves. At some point, Reid realized his father was no longer part of the crowd, and he went in search of him.

Having had no luck in any of the other rooms, Reid went to the kitchen. Still no William. But he caught a glimmer of white through the window that led to the patio. William's dress shirt.

Reid watched as his father sat, head tilted back. He couldn't tell if his eyes were open or shut.

_He could be sleeping. Or he could be doing what I always do when I'm out there. Didn't I figure out, just last year, that it was he and Uncle Daniel who taught me about the night sky?_

Before he had a chance to argue the point with himself, Reid opened the back door and went out. The night was crisp, the moon a mere crescent. That left the stars to illuminate the sky, in all their glory.

William looked over at his son's approach and saw him looking to the heavens. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"It's not quite the same as the desert, but I like it. I come out here often, just to star-watch."

"Doesn't matter, does it? That it's not the same as the desert. It's not in how many stars we see, or how bright they are. It's in how much we appreciate them."

Reid took the seat next to his father. "You sound like JJ. She's the wise one in our family."

William looked at him for a moment. "Then I'm glad you married her. She seems like a pretty amazing woman, Spencer. Who's given you two beautiful children."

Reid had acquired his children in different ways, but each of those ways involved JJ.

"I'm pretty blessed."

William turned his head to look back up at the stars. It was too hard to look at his son, just now.

"No thanks to me."

Reid flashed a look sideways and caught the set of his father's jaw. Being in his starry-ceilinged church, still able to hear the laughter of those he loved inside, he could afford to be generous.

"We can't go back, Dad."

"Oh, how I wish we could. Spencer, I don't have the words to say.."

"You don't have to say any words. We're here, now. I never thought we would be, but we are. Maybe it's a miracle, maybe not. Maybe someone we both know has been pulling strings up there…"

They both smiled at the vision of puppeteer Diana. Reid continued with what he was saying.

"There was a time when I thought Mom wouldn't have wanted this." He waved his hand back and forth between them. "You and me, together. I thought she'd be angry. I couldn't even consider it."

William's response was barely audible. "You don't think so now?"

Reid shook his head. "It took a long time, and a lot of reading through her journals….including the one you had….but I came to realize something that she knew all along. She saw it, but she couldn't stop it. She saw that we let all the things that plagued our family…..her illness, Uncle Daniel's death…. we let them be bigger than us. We let them look insurmountable. We let them get the upper hand."

"There's no 'we' about that, Spencer. _I_ let that happen. And I'm truly sorry for it."

"I was just a kid then, but not later. I should have seen it, later. Like when we were together in Vegas, that time before. Mom went off her meds just to have the clarity to absolve you of a crime I was stupid enough to think you had committed."

"Spencer…" Not wanting his son to feel guilt over it. _Any guilt in our relationship belongs to me._

Reid held up a palm and spoke over him. "The point is, she went off her meds. She knew what would happen, what it would cost her, but she had a goal and she knew how to reach it. She knew that, while maybe _everything_ is hard, _nothing_ is insurmountable."

William took it in, slowly absorbing Reid's meaning. "You think the obstacles between us are surmountable."

"I think we can't revisit the past and hope to make it different. There's no point, and there's a huge potential cost. But, I'm willing to move forward together, if you are. If nothing else, we can do it for her, with the foundation."

William had a little more news in that regard. "I didn't tell you inside, but…I'm going to retire, and run the foundation full time. I could use your help with contacts in the field. You know, who's doing what research, what's worthy of funding, how to help people already suffering with it…"

"And their families…." added Reid. "We need to look out for the families."

"Agreed."

Neither spoke it aloud, but each had the same thought _. Maybe, if we'd had that kind of support, our family would have survived it._

They sat in unexpectedly companionable silence for a few minutes. Each was startled out of it when a pair of meteor fragments rapidly traversed the sky above them.

"Do you know how rare that is?" asked Reid. "That a pair of them move so closely together?"

_No more rare than a father and son finding a way to move ahead together on the earth below them, Son. Thank you, Diana._

Reid was conversing with her too.

_Thanks, Mom._


End file.
